Friday, April 01, 2005

Terri Schiavo dies

When I posted this originally, I had some comments which got wiped out somehow. So here's an update for today, April 1.

This morning I watched part of the Today Show on NBC with Ann Curry interviewing Michael Schiavo's Lawyer, George Felos, who stated that he had been in the room with Terri and Michael to witness Terri's death. Why is a lawyer in the room, when Terri's blood relatives are not allowed to be with her at her death? The lawyer stated that Terri's brother could not be present because a police office would have had to be present as well, and this would be an invasion of Terri's privacy. So a lawyer being there is not an invasion of her privacy? I don't get it.

But in my email today, my buddy Gabriel had forwarded me some lawyer jokes. They are not all new, but somehow they seem appropriate this April Fool's Day.


Q: How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?
A: She has an uncontrollable craving for baloney.

Q: How does an attorney sleep?
A: First he lies on one side, and then he lies on the other

Q: How many lawyer jokes are there?
A: Only three. The rest are true stories.

Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: How many can you afford?

Q: How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three. One to climb the ladder, one to shake it, and one to sue the ladder company.

If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could save only one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?

Q: What did the lawyer name his daughter?
A: Sue.

Q: What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?
A: Skeet!

The Post Office just recalled their latest stamps. They had pictures of lawyers on them, and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.

Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad?
A: Senator.

Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?
A: Your honor.

Q: What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?
A: His partners.

Q: What does a lawyer use for birth control?
A: His personality.

Q: What happens when you cross a pig with a lawyer?
A: Nothing.There are some things a pig just won't do.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
A: The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.

Q: What's another difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
A: Removable wing tips.

Q: What do you have when you've got 50 lawyers buried in sand up to their chins?
A: Not enough sand.

Q: What do you get if you cross a crooked lawyer with a crooked politician?
A: Chelsea Clinton.

Q: Why does California have the most lawyers in the country while New Jersey has the most toxic waste sites?
A: New Jersey got first choice.

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