Paying for advice

Danah Boyd's friend went to a "a cult-esque finding yourself seminar" where he paid for advice that Danah had been trying to give him (for free) for years. But once the man paid out some good money, he saw the worth in the advice. Or perhaps he just wasn't ready to hear it until he went to the seminar. The mere fact of being willing to pay for it may indicate that he was ready to act upon the advice, whereas in previous times all he wanted to do was vent and hear his friend sympathize with him.

I know, I've been there myself, on both ends. My close friends can surely attest that they gave me much good advice over the years which was listened to and ignored. And now, that I'm older and wiser, I wish I'd been able to take the advice when it was given. But I'm just stubborn enough to have to learn some things the hard way. And there are a few friends and relatives who are certainly sick of my trying to tell them what to do. It's hard not to say something when you see a loved one going too far down the wrong path, but people are not always in a frame of mind to hear you.

Seth (in one of the comments to Danah's post) said:

"...by paying money, time, etc, people have a personal investment. Just because they can get that advice for free doesn't mean they'll believe it. What they're buying isn't advice, it's peace of mind about an externalized decision."

To all my friend who gave me advice over the years, thank you. Even if I wasn't ready to hear it then, I remember and thank you now.

Marjie